Julian Patterson
Julian Patterson has been chronicling the absurdity of life in and around the NHS on a weekly basis since 2009. He is best known as the creator of NHS Blithering, the country’s most challenged health economy.
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CommentNHS England slims down
NHS England has listened to Lord Darzi’s proposal to slim down the centre and is going on a hiring spree to make it happen, reports Julian Patterson
CommentLongstay's trail of destruction finally comes to an end
The world of management is rocked to its foundations as the NHS’s greatest and most prolific leader, Sir Trevor Longstay, announces his decision to retire. Julian Patterson has the distressing details
Comment‘We’re in a right pickle’, Darzi concludes
Julian Patterson applauds the wide-ranging aspirations and familiar themes of Lord Darzi’s performance review
CommentManagement consultants offer NHS 'remarkable value for money', concludes report
A new report debunks the myth that management consultants are a waste of money, writes Julian Patterson
CommentBlithering wins the X factor
The opportunities for virtue signalling on social media are never greater than when you decide to leave. After a wobbly start, Blithering comms supremo Martin Plackard finally gets up to speed. Julian Patterson has the details
CommentOutsourcing with compassion
NHS Blithering Foundation Trust has drawn up a proposal to outsource its estates services. Head of procurement Marge Carver and director of operations Phil Buggins are presenting the business case to the ICB. Meeting notes by Julian Patterson
CommentShop assistant appointed trust CEO and other 'alternative' news stories
Imagine what the news might have been like. Now you don’t have to, writes Julian Patterson
CommentExclusive: 10-year NHS plan revealed
Fixing the NHS is surprisingly simple, as the forthcoming government plan will make clear. The only mystery is why it took us so long to find the solution, writes Julian Patterson
CommentRevealed: how quantum physics wrecked NHS funding
Public spending has been cancelled as Rachel Reeves develops an unhealthy obsession with Jeremy Hunt’s hole. Full story from Julian Patterson
CommentBlithering anticipates a new 10 year plan
As Wes Streeting’s team get to work on the new 10-year plan, Julian Patterson casts a nostalgic eye over the great plans of the recent past.
CommentHurrah! The politcians are back in control
The NHS has issued a statement expressing support for Wes Streeting as the new health and social care secretary promises to take back control, get the NHS done and lead us to the sunlit uplands. Julian Patterson has the details
CommentPrepare to clear your desks
Before he takes up an important political assignment, Julian Patterson offers a shamelessly unbalanced view of the outcome of the general election and what it will mean for HSJ readers
CommentThe Groundhog Expo
It’s time to “activate your awareness funnel” as this year’s Blithering Expo is here. Once again the event provides an opportunity to share learnings, hear about great examples of innovation and network with peers. Most importantly, it’s a chance to get out of the office for a couple of days. ...
CommentCrack teams to get spin backlog under control
As election fever intensifies, the Labour leadership has set out a clear and detailed plan to save the NHS, writes Julian Patterson
CommentA tribute to chair’s towering modesty
Blithering ICB chief executive Joy Hunter shares extracts from her diary – a privileged glimpse into the busy life of one of the NHS’s top leaders, as told to Julian Patterson
CommentTaking time to stop thinking about problems
Why is Sir Trevor Longstay keen to hold an all-day planning meeting? Why is he going out of his way to flatter the regional director? And will the ICB ever finish its stakeholder map? Julian Patterson has the answers
CommentMaking liars of us all
As the pledges of the new hospitals programme inevitably unravel, Julian Patterson wonders who will have the last laugh
